they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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