yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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