i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
