"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
