you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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