If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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