Christians are straight up FREAKS
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
