apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
