he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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