Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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