I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
