Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
