never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
