Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
