Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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