Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i think i just lost a toe
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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