Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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