He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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