'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
