dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
