I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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