This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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