the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
