This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
