You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
