im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
