Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
