He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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