i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
