I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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