Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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