why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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