just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
