apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
