Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
