Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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