and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
