I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
