my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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