I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
