put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
