my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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