I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
