bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
