Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
