i just had sex bonerless
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
