The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
