We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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