I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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