i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
