No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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