There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
