it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
