So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
